This is a true test of character.

Whenever asked what is biggest challenge I have faced throughout my short life, I would always answer the challenge of getting into the best high school in the country. Right now, that''s all I have under my belt: besting thousands of bright, young Filipinos and being part of the elite 240 students who got qualified to the most prestigious high school in the Philippines. I've made it through high school, unscathed and bright-eyed. I don't know though what's happening to me right now. :|

Indeed, this is one true test of character. Doing something you do not like and how you handle the task and if you are able to deliver is my biggest challenge as of the moment. Sadly, I think that I am failing rather miserably. I am nothing short of frustrated with myself and with what I am doing. No, I am not proud of myself. I am getting drowned in all these thoughts of failures and misery and the sad thing is that I am not doing anything about it. Much as I try to be productive, it's such a struggle. What's worst is that this is the one thing, the one thing, that would determine my capabilities as a person and how I would most likely end up to be.

It wouldn't be this difficult if I had wanted something else, like a mediocre job or be a stay-at-home mom. But, no, I want to be a doctor; I will be a doctor. I will save lives. And difficult and daunting as this may be, I will get over this. Albeit without flying colors, I will not let this challenge get the better of me. Besides, I was part of the elite 240 students, supposedly the cream of the crop, the best Philippines has to offer. I am one of the Philippines' best. Albeit a little shaken, I promise I will get through this and take whatever routes and detours to get to that one goal. I can do this.

Damn you. I will get over you and I will not let you get the better of me. I am Jane, I was born to jump hurdles like you. I refuse to let you put me down again because I know I can do this. Pardon this Korean reference but aja! I will not let you screw me anymore.

(Pardon this post, I just needed to motivate myself and not let my emotions get the better of me. I can do this. And this has turned out to be rather good, this rant. I can do this)

Solar Eclipse last July 22:


We were at the NIP rooftop and we projected the solar eclipse using a binocular. Cool, yeah?

That's about it, I guess. I just had to share because I remembered and it was cool. Not another until 2132. So yeah. Off to class.

Photo from @chuuch_.

How can you not get over this shot? It was probably the most amazing thing I saw on television this year. Yeah, I don't watch television that much. Ooh, that crazy Federer fan too. French Open security fail. Good thing Roger rarely loses his cool. See, he still won. Now, he can be called THE Greatest Of All Time (THE GOAT). Lame name but true. He really is the greatest. I just pray that it will be long before he retires.

Also, Roger's wife looks demn beautiful and blooming. Despite her growing tummy, I feel all light-headed when I see his wife. I'm like "Demn, you are one hell of a lucky woman." To be married to THE Roger Federer. Whoa.

And to end this post of epic-ness, here's a video clip of another favorite player of mine:


Lol. Novak Djokovic! There was a better video but embedding was disabled. Saks. Haha.

Yesterday, Tino brought me to the mall so we can watch Star Trek. I never was a Trekkie but watching the movie made me want to watch the previous ten movies and then watch more Star Trek. I WILL watch it again, okay? This time on IMAX. In short, to sum up the movie in one word: AWESOME! You have to see it for yourself to realize how awesome the movie is. No spoiler there.

And there is my brief review of the movie. Completely spoiler-free. Well, not the Sheldon Cooper standard of spoiler-free but I can't help raving about how awesome the movie is.

I really want to update and all but this blogging thing makes me feel lazy. Just for the sake of having something written on this blog, I come here with quantum suicide. Haha. I heard this from a friend the other day after he asked me about what's the main component of a nuclear bomb and how do we make one. He decided to search the net but he found this, among other things.

How Quantum Suicide Works
by Josh Clark

A man sits down before a gun, which is pointed at his head. This is no ordinary gun; i­t's rigged to a machine that measures the spin of a quantum particle. Each time the trigger is pulled, the spin of the quantum particle -- or quark -- is measured. Depending on the measurement, the gun will either fire, or it won't. If the quantum particle is measured as spinning in a clockwise motion, the gun will fire. If the quark is spinning counterclockwise, the gun won't go off. There'll only be a click.

( Thought experiment my ass. Let's try this in real life. /jk )

And this is what my life is now. I am amused by stupid quantum suicide. Baaaah.

I'm a physicist. I have a working knowledge of the universe and everything it contains.
- Sheldon Cooper

I wish I was Dr. Sheldon Cooper. I wish I was that smart. My only advantage over this fictional nerd is that I know what a Radiohead is.

Anyway, I'm taking a bit of a break from all the schoolwork that has been downpouring on me. I'm going to burn the midnight oil to finish solving at least 10 more Project Euler problems tonight to get some more bonus points for a class that I have.

Anyway, our Quantum Mechanics professor gave us a copy of this article the other day before asking us what went wrong on our first two exams. Our first two exams bummed and I was really expecting her to get mad at us but she just asked calmly what happened wrong. If you have time, try to read it.

Scientist: Four golden lessons

Steven Weinberg

When I received my undergraduate degree — about a hundred years ago — the physics literature seemed to me a vast, unexplored ocean, every part of which I had to chart before beginning any research of my own. How could I do anything without knowing everything that had already been done? Fortunately, in my first year of graduate school, I had the good luck to fall into the hands of senior physicists who insisted, over my anxious objections, that I must start doing research, and pick up what I needed to know as I went along. It was sink or swim. To my surprise, I found that this works. I managed to get a quick PhD — though when I got it I knew almost nothing about physics. But I did learn one big thing: that no one knows everything, and you don't have to.

( +3 more lessons under the cut )

Just because it's Wednesday morning and I feel really, really down, I have a wish list. Silly, actually, but the list made me happy, somehow.

From left to right and then top to bottom.

1. The new MacBook Pro. Can I just say amazing? 17 inches of pure amazingness. WOW. And my laptop's a bit too sucky already I have to buy a new one. I want a MacBook Pro but the chances of me getting one is almost null. Hello recession. Oh well.

2. The Iliad eBook Reader. I was actually wanting the Kindle at first but this reader has the features of Kindle plus more! You can even write on it! Ta-Dah! The price is amazing too! I can buy a decent laptop already if I have enough money to buy the Iliad.

3. Big spiral notebooks. The ones in the mosaic are Milquerius notebooks. They are sold at Fully Booked. Yes, they are the expensive ones. They're really nice to look at and probably nice to write on. Haha. Too damn expensive.

4. Parker Mechanical Pencil. I don't write with ballpens anymore because they're just too messy. I only use ballpens when taking exams and I use a BIC mechanical pencil 90% of the time. I've used like 6 BIC mechanical pencil for the past 5 months but I want a more decent pencil. Parker seems okay and it looks really, really nice. Ang pretty, 'di ba?

5. New Swatch Watch. Yes, Kalahari is dead and I need/want a new baby. I need a new watch. It's a necessity and it looks good. Hah. Expensive too. Money is such a big problem here. Demn.

6. Superhero t-shirts. I've been looking all over the department stores of the malls in Manila for girl-sized superhero shirts but I haven't found any yet. Will probably try the tiangges soon enough because I badly want superhero shirts.

7. Chuck Taylors. My shoes are giving up on me already. I need new Chucks. 3.5, baby. Will probably buy a new pair once I get my first salary. I need to treat myself. Hah. I'm going to buy new shoes. Probably Chucks or a pair of rubber shoes, not sure yet.

8. Hoodie. Forever on my list. I want to go back to Baguio to buy the cheap hoodies and this time I will make sure that no name is printed on the hoodie. LOL. But they're real cheap. I just want to go back to Baguio.

9. Backpack. Jansport or anything. Or maybe I just need to wash my backpack. But I think I want a new one just because.

After making a wish list, I think I feel sadder. Listing the things I want but cannot get. Oh well. Tonight is probably just not my night but I have to not end the day yet because I have/want/need to do research. PFFT, seriously.